I will be sharing snippets from my novel Washing off the Glue in the hopes of getting some constructive feedback.
The first two paragraphs:
Marie came to Burning Man to let go of a memory.
Ten long years of searching for Dad, and she had nothing to show for it. What if he’s sick? What if he’s dead? She had no way of knowing. That’s the part that killed her. Rachel, her best friend and roommate, was probably right: She should give up the search and start living in the present.
I am told “absent or missing fathers” are a cliche in novels, but I’d like to think I have a novel (so to speak) approach. It’s not about the father; it’s about the main character, Marie, who embarks on an obsessive search for him, and encounters all sorts of problems of her own.
What do you think?
Kristen Ankiewicz 
I think your first sentence needs expansion, to put us in the moment and create a situation we are drawn into. Show, don’t tell. The second paragraph needs to all be put into the past tense. Sorry.. reformed writing teacher and you asked! Good luck. Sets up two situations I’d be interested in hearing about.
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